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CHEMICAL TOXICITY: WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T STOP DOING

THE NORMALIZATION OF COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR

I am a person detoxing from Mercury, Mold and other Heavy Metal and Chemical contaminants. These are substances we are all unwillingly exposed to in our air, water and soil. As these contaminants leave my body I feel the burn, itch, aches and pains. There are ways to help cushion those unwanted feelings, but sometimes they are unavoidable and felt in our organs of excretion. To be exact, through the bowel, bladder, lungs, skin, etcetera.

AM I AGITATED OR ENERGIZED?

Maybe you have noticed that burning, itching, etcetera release of inflammation often accompanied by chemical like odors. They are often followed up, or proceeded by agitated behavior. A behavior that passes as normal for many people today. A caffeinated feeling, energized in an unnatural hyper way.

In the not so long ago past, maybe 5 or more years ago, I would almost enjoy this feeling. Hey, I have energy to get things done! Problem was I was getting done. Burned out from the inside out. I was doing out of fear. the fear of not getting things accomplished and falling behind. This behavior tells me I am feeling the irritation of being the host of opportunistic bacteria like Candida and other Parasites in my body.

CAN’T GET OFF MY OWN CASE

There are different levels of OCD / Obsessive Compulsive Behavior. This is my personal experience with my own body, and from what I have observed in others, is pretty universal. It can go something like this: I  need to go to sleep, but feel compelled to finish something that is not at all necessary to my imminent well being. The task I need to stop doing  is going to get in the way of my going to bed earlier. It is going to get in the way of my doing something that would enhance my life and healing. I have mentioned this to other people and they tell me that this behavior, feeling compelled to do something / finish a project, is not abnormal. I know that normal these days is not often healthy, or a good idea. I take note of the response I get. I then don’t use their words as a justification for my not being able to stop and get some much needed rest. Unplug.

I admit, what I described above is not the most severe or stereotypical example of OCD behavior, but one that a reader might find they can relate to, maybe an eyeopener. What I said could cause a person to question their behavior. Is it really helpful? Even though everyone around us is engaged in it and way, way more extreme. How will I get ahead if I do not push? Time is ticking, etcetera. This is a  normalized amped up feeling that is so the norm today. Starbuck’s ain’t everywhere just because people like the taste of coffee.

DEADLINES

I do know we all often have unavoidable deadlines, etcetera. I am not specifically talking about those specific kinds of situations. However, if you thrive on pressure, or those creatures inside you do, this is the issue I am raising here. If that does not make sense to you, maybe down the line at some point it will. Living in a city like New York, where I am originally from, it is easy to not feel how amped up everyone is with, or without caffeine. I have to add that since living in Arizona and California I have come to realize that even the most rural communities (Patagonia, Az. as one example) have wound up citizens. Of course, people often move to these areas to decompress and that takes time. I am not sure moving is the solution for many. With  the exposure to toxins I mentioned above, I am certain it takes more than time for most people to heal up from an amped up Metropolitan Area life.

WE ALL NEED TO GIVE EACH OTHER A BREAK

In summary, I have learned to question my thoughts about people, cautious in judging their behavior, and to never take the anger of other people personally (not so easy) unless it is obviously in response to something I did, or said. Keep the peace without being a doormat by deciding what is important to address. We as human beings are subjected to so much we do not understand that impacts our health. In view of that, it is important to keep all this in mind when dealing with ourselves and others. This is a daily lesson for me that you might be able to relate to in your own life.

Over the past two years Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has helped me heal. In past blog posts I have written about other forms of healing help I have received.

notyourrawmama

 

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HEALING A HERNIA ABSCESS FISTULA

ONE AWKWARD TITLE

I did not know what to entitle this post, a post about a subject that does not get a great deal of coverage. What has made it more difficult is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to describe, or sum up, my experience in a sound bite. Healing for me has not been easy and definitely not a quick fix. I sure wish it had been. Right now the title is Hernia:Abscess Fistula Crisis. Not very catchy. Okay, so here I go…

WHEN THINGS COME UNLEASHED

Within the past year I have wanted to write another post about my Hernia / Abscess bursting, and the spread of inflammation that resulted. In that first  post I said that I would soon be writing in more detail, but I was simply not able to. I did not have the energy and mental clarity. I have truly needed all of my energy to heal, and do some daily tasks. Because I did not go to a hospital I came to the realization that people found it hard to understand the serious nature of what I had been through. Thinking back and putting my set of circumstances in context with the society I live in, I now understand that response from others. It has helped me see my experience through their eyes. This insight has made healing from a Chronic Illness a life lesson. That may sound a bit cliche, but fortunately for me it is true. Why do I say that? Because I am not a victim of my circumstances due to what I have learned, and that perspective has only empowered me. Still, it has not been easy.

FEELING POSITIVE VS EVERYTHING ELSE

Through my health crisis (aka being sick) I have come to recognize that I have to be there for myself. It is unfair to depend on others to be a support in a way that I am not sure anyone can. What I have come to fully understand is that each individual person is in charge of their own thoughts and actions. Believing in my ability to heal is up to me. Saying it and feeling it are two very different things. Accepting this responsibility had to happen in order to get well. This acceptance tells me that healing is happening on a deeper level. I had to give up needing the understanding and approval of others to be at peace with my decisions. The only approval necessary, in order to heal, is my own. This is something I have to remind myself of often.

Recognizing the support I do have has helped me heal. Fortunately, I often express gratitude to the two people who have been there for me, my husband and Jennifer Daniels, MD. That recognition of others sounds like a no brainer, but part of not feeling well can be focusing on what I do not have. When I feel pain, it takes an extra effort to feel positive, and grateful. I wish it came easier.

TICK – TOCK

For about 15 to 20 years I had a small lump in my right groin. I was told it was an Inguinal Hernia. A good part of that time the lump did not hurt, and it was hardly visible. Instinctively, I feel it has been there since I was in my late 20’s early 30’s. I deducted that the lump was a build up of bacteria, parasites, etcetera due to long term constipation. My hypothesis was that the accumulation of acidic waste weakened the membranes of my body and set me up for a “hernia”. A long history of constipation, in my experience, usually means a sluggish Liver/Gallbladder, and Cecum. All located on the right side of the body. This sluggishness is often reflected in the Transverse and Sigmoid Colon. So, my Hernia/ Abscess situation had been building for a very long time.

TOXINS NEED TO MOVE OUT IN A TIMELY WAY

A lack of movement in the Ascending Colon is evidence that the Liver/Gallbladder are sluggish. The Liver is partially located under the right ribcage. Liver/Gallbladder sluggishness makes it harder for waste matter to move up from the Cecum, located close the right groin. Among other factors, movement of waste matter is challenged by the Law of Gravity, a formidable opponent. In Chinese Medical Theory the Liver is an organ of expansion and upward movement. If the Liver is overwhelmed by a deluge of toxins, etcetera it will be reflected, at some point, by a sluggish response of all bodily functions. Chronic Bowel problems will be one major indicator that something is not quite right, and that includes Constipation and Irritable Bowel symptoms.

I do plan to write more about my Hernia/Abscess experience. I can say that it was very traumatic and messy. Blood, infectious material, and more. All I experienced has made it clear to me why Western Medicine employs surgery. Then the use of antibiotics and pain killers to deal with infection/inflammation spreading. This is not the road that I chose to take, but after my experience I can understand why it is taken by so many people. Surgeries usually entail a life long relationship with  doctors, medications and other surgeries. This is not the protocol that I felt would be good for me, so my choice has been a road less taken.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD was / is the healing force, along with my willfulness and my husband’s support, that got me through the healing of my Abscess, the containing of Inflammation, the painful aftermath, the road to healing.

notyourrawmama


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DEHYDRATED WASTE: A TICKING TIME BOMB

IT ALL STARTS VERY EARLY IN OUR LIVES

Where does all the toxic waste come from that people directly confront when healing holistically from a chronic illness? How does so much necrotic material get stored in the human body? To release it can be painful (acidic), and needs the help of solvents, water for hydration and specific elements to absorb residue and move it out. Intestinal Drawing Formula by Health Force is one example. Herbs, spices, charcoal (a component in the Intestinal Drawing Formula), vegetables and other forms of fiber are needed along with enemas and, in some cases, colonics. The amount of waste that can be dislodged is confusing for people, I strongly include myself here, and it can be very hard to understand where all this toxic matter is stored in the body. For people who have eaten a diet that is way above SAD (Standard American Diet), done fasting, colon cleanses. juicing, colonics, enemas, cleansing diets, the whole shebang, the amount of toxins that are resurrected can be highly confusing, disheartening, and disillusioning.

WATER? WHAT WATER?

I was born in the later half of the 1950’s. During my childhood I have no memory of there being any focus on drinking water at home, or at school. My mother did not have soda in the house, except for occasional ginger ale and tonic water. At school there was no water served at lunch, but there were a number of water fountains in the school. Beverages served in the cafeteria were plain and chocolate milk. In grammar school I was active as a competitive runner as well as a ballet student. Looking back it does seem strange that there was no memorable guidance, in my experience, to drink water for kids in general and especially for those involved in sports, or dance.

TRULY RUNNING ON EMPTY

As a child, I can remember restricting drinking liquids at track meets due to limited access to public toilets. It was the same as a dancer. I was part of a dance company during my teens that performed in Central Park and other outdoor venues. Bathroom access was not nearby, or at all convenient. The solution was to drink minimally. Soda was the beverage that was sold at the track meets.

CHOCK FULL O’NUTS

In terms of role models, my ballet teachers often drank coffee and smoked cigarettes during ballet class and rehearsals. That may be hard for people to fathom these days, but it is true. There were water fountains in most dance studios. Bottled water was not quite in vogue at the time. I did start seeing a nutritionist in my very late teens and at that time I do remember water being a part of the program. The focus of the nutrition movement back then was on supplements, high protein diets, and the elimination of refined carbohydrates. Low blood sugar was the buzz term. Eating animal protein with mega vitamin therapy was the popular approach. Remember the Atkins Diet?

BREAKING IT ALL DOWN: SOLVENTS

When I reflect on the years of not having proper hydration while involved in activities that involved great physical demands, the ramifications are daunting. I also have no memory of regular bowel movements as a kid. That impact was confirmed by feelings of been bloated in my early teens. I can remember constipation as a young teen. The impact of improper hydration can not be totally resolved by water alone. Solvents are needed to break down what has accumulated in the body due to dehydration. Click here for one solvent that I have found extremely useful. 

Toxic waste accumulates in the body due to not enough water daily, refined foods daily, childhood medications, inoculations, pesticides on fruits and vegetables, breathing polluted air, eating farm factory meats, and exposure to so much more that we do not knowingly consume. Without proper hydration these toxic elements remain. These toxins become part of the building blocks to our cells, blood, organs, etcetera. If there is not enough water being ingested an internal bomb is being built, and at some point begins ticking.

CONSTIPATION

There are so many other details that I could add here, but the point that I am wanting to make is that most people are not properly hydrated from the very beginning of their lives. Physically active or sendentary behaviors are dehydrating. Computers, and electronics of all kinds are dehydrating. Dehydration is a major cause of constipation. Waste is not coming out means that toxins that need to be eliminated are being stored all over the body. It is important for me to mention the toxic elements in the air and soil that were unregulated at the time I was growing up. This is, very sadly, still a problem. Exposure to chemicals and pesticides is a daily occurrence today, as well as in the past. At the least, enough fluids are needed to make an attempt to wash them out.

MAKING SENSE OUT OF IT ALL

Understanding my decades of not being properly hydrated is information that I have had to process slowly. The reality of it is hard to measure. In going through my healing process with Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD, I have had to confront the deeply potent residue of toxic matter that has been stored in my body. A painful, but needed facing of facts. Facts that I thought I understood, but obviously did not. The magnitude of this collection of toxins is far more powerful than I ever realized.

notyourrawmama

 

 

 

 

 


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OVERWHELMED AND MICROMANAGED: AN UNHEALTHY GUT

WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING?

When I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and less able to focus and complete tasks, I become  anxious. Over the years I have come to learn that it is not the circumstances outside of me that are the real problem, but how I interpret them. I am talking about everyday stresses that should not put one on medications. My interpretation, from life long experience with myself and others, depends on the condition of my Immune System and my ability to keep the ecosystem of my body in balance. When healing from a Chronic Illness, hitting this balance can be very hard. It is truly a balancing act of cleaning out, rebuilding and finding some stability to function daily while participating in this healing process.

TAPPING FOR OVERWHELM

A few years ago I was part of an online course designed and presented by The Tapping Solution / Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). I noticed that feeling overwhelmed was an ongoing theme among the participants. One person that I specifically remember stated that she found Tapping [EFT] very helpful to alleviate her anxiety, but she still woke up feeling overwhelmed everyday. Anxiety was her daily alarm clock. She was grateful for the relief tapping brought her, but she was hoping for a more long term resolution, and Tapping had become more of a band-aid. Even though EFT is not my deep cure for overwhelm, I do experience EFT (Tapping) as helpful, and I will probably always use it for a myriad of different reasons.

Regular, daily feelings of overwhelm that appear without a trigger are signs of a greater biological stress. In a 10 week webinar with Oprah Winfrey, Eckart Tolle said that without pharmaceuticals the population of this earth would be more out of control than it already is. A scary thought. since there is so much discord today. Drugs and Pharmaceuticals are the next step, even for people who do not want to go down that road. Why? There are a few larger scope reason, but on a personal situation level,  it is what an individual may need to do in order to be functional, earn a living, not hurt themselves, or others. It is important to note that even with medications prevention of bad outcomes is not guaranteed.

YOU TAKE MY BREATH AWAY, BUT NOT IN A GOOD WAY

Obsessive attention to detail is becoming more and more common in our society. That behavior causes feelings of overwhelm for people on a daily basis. It is one trait that has deep, biological roots. One definition of a Weak Immune System is a person with an internal terrain that has an overload of Bacteria, Candida, Parasites, etcetera. A Weak Immune System is when these life forms have the upper hand and take over. When Parasites overrun us, instead of passing out in due time, they create symptoms that can exhibit themselves in behaviors that are often irksome to ourselves, and  others. In this state of imbalance, we are not at peace with ourselves, or those around us. Our annoyances and fears run us. Meds are, on paper, the quick fix.

MEDDLING

At some point Micromanaging ourselves, our environment, and others leads to feelings of overwhelm. These controlling traits often pass as normal. It is not so hard to surround ourselves with people who are more overwhelmed than we are. Surrounded by people who are more out of control than we are, or think we are,  it is easy to not realize or confront our own feelings of overwhelm.

NITPICKING

I had a client in NYC who possessed ample financial wealth and comfort. They randomly fired their home / work staff. No one was ever good enough. I, without a doubt, noticed that their personality would change from during the day to the evening. Confrontational and agitated behavior peaked at different times. The critical and difficult aspects of this person waxed and waned with the sun, moon and extreme temperatures, also known as exogenous factors.

INCONVENIENT SOLUTIONS

Over the years I have learned that when I feel overwhelmed by life my Immune System needs to be checked. Aside from making adjustments in my outer world it is necessary to adjust my biological ecosystem. The toxins that are dying off are  accumulating and not exiting fast enough. Steps need to be taken. Not a take two and call me in the morning solution,, but at least I know what to do, and it works.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has helped me. Her website is worth looking into, whether you work with her or not.

notyourrawmama

 

 

 

 


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DDT:MAN VS NATURE AND NO ONE WINS

THE ARROGANCE OF HUMANKIND, IN RETROSPECT, IS OFTEN DUMBFOUNDING

I recently saw a documentary about Rachel Carson and her uncovering of the destructive use and impact of DDT. The story is told through the life of Ms. Carson, who publicly took the use of this toxic pesticide to task. The very beginning of this documentary is filled with important historical information about the use of DDT before it was banned in 1972. If you don’t have the time to watch the entire 2 hours, the first half hour alone is very informative.

The presentation of this information gives a window into the mindset behind the decision to use DDT. The documentary exposes the thinking involved in the use of DDT, and is helpful in having a better insight as to why something so very toxic to our environment was widely implemented. There are seemingly practical reasons that directed the use of DDT. Unfortunately, decisions are often made out of fear, arrogance and greed, and the impact from these decisions, in this particular case, are profound. The harmful use of DDT is experienced to this day. Travesties against nature are often rationalized and given the go ahead under the guise of science.

The documentary about Rachel Carson (author of Silent Spring, 1962) is a PBS presentation on An American Experience.  Thanks to YouTube for the link.

Is DDT still being used on any level? As I said earlier in this post, DDT was banned in 1972. From what I have read the answer is still no, but DDT is very much present in our environment. The poisonous, decades long impact of DDT is well documented.

My hope is that people who read this post will take the time to watch all, or part of this  film about Rachel Carson and her contribution to our world.

notyourrawmama

 


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PAIN: BECOMING A HERMIT

THE MANY FACES OF PAIN

I know someone in their mid 70’a who has, over the years, become reclusive. He does not return most phone calls, no longer uses email, and does not reach out to people, except a necessary few. Others, who also know this person, have gone from feeling somewhat perplexed and rejected to surrendering acceptance. Well, most of the time anyway. I am not surprised at his behavior, and am sure that years of joint inflammation after a recovery from a pretty serious vascular illness, more than 10 years ago, has taken a huge toll. Still, none of these other people seem to fully understand why he has disappeared. Some, I can tell, still feel hurt and rejected. I am not a sage, but I am certain that the level of inflammation this man experiences is very high and is greatly due to his vascular illness many years ago. There is severe damage and inflammation to his entire body and that includes his brain. Hibernating is often an act of self preservation.

INFLAMED ME

I have been on a quest to heal my gut for decades. I knew that any pain I was having with my hips had to be addressed through rectifying my digestive/gatrointestinal woes. That I am not alone is validated everyday by the strong presence of Pharmaceutical Company advertisements. Drugs such as Humira are advertised and prescribed for joint pain, gut inflammation, and skin problems. Medications / Drugs are not the route I have chosen to take because I know this is not a long term plan. There are serious consequences that are listed in the commercials as they show people doing all the things they have immense pain doing while crippled with inflammation, miserable with irritable bowels, or embarrassed by eczema, psoriasis and other skin conditions. One thing I am sure of is that the people who create the commercials for Humira (and drugs of all kinds ) know the mindset of pain very, very well.

My personal experience with pain has changed my understanding of other people, and their behavior. My empathy for others has increased immensely. I dd not understand the word inflammation until I personally had joint pain. Toxic, sluggish gut was more what I was feeling. Uncomfortable, annoyed and frustrated by an unhealthy gut eventually turned into joint pain. What was an injury that would not heal for many reasons, turned into chronic pain. This cataloging of the sequence of my own inflammation, both gut and joint, has been a circuitous root that has moved to some solid conclusions. Without these experiences I would have only understood inflammation and pain in theory.

MAKING SENSE OF THINGS IS NOT ALWASY POSSIBLE

I am experiencing a deep recovery from inflammation. It is not an simple sequence of personal events to write about. Much of what comes out of me through my bowel is pretty gross in nature. Sometimes it is hard to put into words, recollect and catalogue. The reason for some of this difficulty is due to the myriad of contaminants I have been exposed to over these many years, choices I have made, choices that were made for me. The voracity of the quality of dehydrated residue of contaminants that has been stored in tissues, organs, etcetera all over my body. The list of these substances are beyond my memory, or understanding. I am coming to the conclusion, that in the end, that most of the details are not that important. Finding a way to heal while being more functional as I live through this process is one of my main focuses.

EMPATHY FOR OURSELVES AND OTHERS

Getting back to the person I wrote about in the beginning, I understand his unspoken need to disassociate from people. I have had to do this to some extent. I have needed every bit of energy to heal. That need is something I would not have understood if it were not for my own situation. It takes a great deal of energy to explain to people what is going on with me physically and emotionally. Many people, in trying to help, challenge my decisions, or add their opinion as to what they think I should do. It can be exhausting. It is hard for most people to understand that discomfort may be part of healing. The Western Medical paradigm is based, in theory, of doing no harm. It is documented that this is often not the outcome. I am not saying that is the intention. Treating pain in Western Medicine usually means masking it. This is a major problem today in the USA with opiate addiction, and death from opiate overdose being so prevalent. These rampant addictions speak strongly about the level of inflammation people are suffering from and their need to find relief. Empathy is not the answer, but it is a good start. I truly feel empathy for these people.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has her own unique approach to healing. I have written a good number of posts explaining my experience with her. Here is a link to her website.

notyourrawmama

 

 

 


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MONEY TALKS:HEALTHY INVESTMENTS

DOING THE PAINFUL RESEARCH

What does it say about us, or more importantly what are we saying about ourselves, if our money is invested through a 401K, or in any other way, in companies that are not in line with our ethical, social, spiritual/religious beliefs? Do we have the right to complain about what is happening to our health, the health of our environment, our society, our government while invested in GMO based food manufactures, Big Pharma, Monsanto, farm factory meat industry, porn, violent video games, racist publications and anything else that is not inline with our core values? To me, it feels terribly hypocritical.

I personally know that it is not easy to divest from a 401k. If you have one, maybe you have never thought about where the money in your 401K / Investment Portfolio is directed. It may be possible that by my writing this post someone reading will start thinking about their investments differently. Hopefully, one may start questioning the criticism that is so easy to spew. Judgments about other people, their decisions, our government, governments of other countries, corporations and how determinations are made each day in all countries, homes and in the minds of individual human beings.

INVESTING IN OUR FUTURE

Living in the USA, I am divested from our stock market. Right before the last crash I was wanting to make a change. I was not comfortable with how Wall Street was operating and saw the crash handwriting on the wall. Tired of complaining about companies that I came to realize my portfolio was invested in, I decided to divest. I have never regretted removing my funds. I did pay a penalty. I was not an employee of a corporation, etcetera. I can say that if I was, at the very least, I would be putting pressure on that institution to look at whom they are invested in. There are Green Portfolios. At some point they will be competitive with the traditionally invested ones, maybe some are at this point. If you want to stay in the market and make some changes it is worth doing the research about Green Investments / Portfolios.

MONEY TALKS

Do our investments impact our health? Whether we realize it or not, they most definitely do. Even if you feel you can not divest, what I say here may cause you to find out exactly where your money is invested, and if it jives with your beliefs. It is not an easy thing to face. Finding out may help you to feel more empathetic towards others and the decisions they make each day. That is how scrutinizing where my money was invested changed me for the better.

Nothing is black and white in this world. Whether we realize it or not, we vote each day with our dollar. It is effective.

notyourrawmama