BEING SELF CRITICAL IS NOT A GOOD NORMAL
I have recently had a realization that feels like sad awakening. All the time I have bathing in self criticism. I have come to understand that I just lowered my volume of self criticism. That critical voice I learned growing up. It was an excellent start, but not enough to fully heal. This is not an easy topic to discuss with almost anyone. Why? The self critical voice is a large part of most inner dialogues.
SELF TALK GOES ON WHETHER WE REALIZE IT OR NOT
What we say to ourselves often does not seem like self criticism. This is because It is what we heard growing up from family, teachers, coaches, the media, etcetera. To not chide ourselves with words like hurry up, faster, not good enough leaves many people clueless as to what to say. How else would I get things done? How would I be my best? At least I am not starting and ending each sentence with the word stupid! That was how I viewed progress, and it was.
I have a way to go. So many years of thinking that if I was not treating myself exactly like the nuns, teachers, employers, the media, my parents, I was not self abusive. Aware of many of my thoughts, but not knowing how to retrain myself, it has been hard to be truly self loving. I am learning.
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