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My mother, Agnes Leck, died in 1994. Not long after, I found a copy of a poem in a box of cherished items that she stowed in a drawer. Finding this poem has helped me  to have a deeper understanding of my mother, myself and our relationship. Sometimes we have  insights about people after they are gone that were not possible before. For me this has, at times, felt like a very sad gift.  It has taught me many things. One is that my  parents were so very human. Another, is about the roles we as a society assign to ourselves and others. They can be  very one dimensional and limit how we see our parents. It feels like a big part of my spiritual path is to question these roles in order to open my heart and mind.

friendship a Poem by Lucille Paisner  [year unknown]. You can click on the link or just read it below.

I knew her for many years

All my life

Even before I could talk

But I was hard on her

I made demands:

Be smarter, be prettier, don’t make mistakes

You are not good enough

And my friend was sad

She tried and tried,but there was no pleasing me

As I  grew older

As time went on

I cane to realize that my friend was good enough

I then told her that:

She is smart, she is beautiful, she is entitled to make mistakes

So we have become very good friends

I know I have a friend for life

That friend is myself

Louise Paisner

If anyone has any information about Lucille Paisner I would be really interested in hearing back.






Oil of  Tara is an Ayurvedic oil blend that I found over the internet earlier this year. Their oil and other products are handcrafted by this “mom and pop” company in Massachusetts. All the products are made in exceptionally small batches. The quality is highly controlled.


I have used Oil of Tara and found it to have toning qualities for the skin and deeper tissues. I have also witnessed the lessening of the appearance of spider veins. The quality of the product is apparent by its scent, and how easily it absorbs. It is not greasy. They have a very attractive website with more information [link here] on all their products.


Diet, exercise, cellular cleansing, dry body brushing are necessary for the improvement of poor – sluggish circulation. All that leads to a more positive attitude and feeling  better. This, of course, really contributes to improved health. Bottom line is that spider veins, cellulite and varicosities are an indication that something deeper, in terms of health, needs to be addressed. Medically injecting them or using a topical treatment is not a long term solution.

Postscript: Since writing this post I found The Unique Healing Program Donna Pessin. If you are interested in making a deep change in your overall health visit her site. I am currently doing this  program.  The Unique Healing Program addresses the entire body by improving gut health. It is a nonsense approach. This program is NOT a magic bullet. [link here].


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Click here to learn more about how to make MMS at home. Videos are available at this link. Jim Humble reveals a less acidic and chlorine like tasting recipe for MMS.

What is MMS? [link here] Chlorine Dioxide. Please check out the link for more information.

Postscript: Since writing this post I have discovered The Unique Healing Program Donna Pessin. If you are interested in healing digestive ills, I highly suggest researching her site. Creating a healthy gut is the only way to establishing immune health. [link here].


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What is it?

Vocal Fry is a groaning type sound that has recently been noticed by the medical/ speech therapy community. It may be the consequence of a real burn out within the physical body that is manifesting itself in the voice of some young women. Sure, not everyone has this vocal tendency that is experiencing  stress, but not all people manifest imbalance in the same way. Anyway, their is medical research around this vocal tendency, so if science is important to giving something validity… Dr. Nancy Snyderman, NBC medical correspondent [link here].

The vocal quality, recently deemed as Voice Fry, has a groaning texture. Here is another [link] to the seemingly silly story that held specific meaning to me [Huffington Post]. The diagnosis of patients with the practitioners five senses is one facet of Traditional Asian Medicine, Ayurveda, Tibetan Medicine and all other forms of healing.

The vocal diagnosis that I learned observes that groaning sound as a kidney/ adrenal/ bladder imbalance. Voice Fry, according to the story I saw, seems to be showing up in the voices of late teens, college age women and those in their twenties. In other words, in people who are showing signs of being burned out at a very early age.

A story that the majority of western medicine scoffs at made sense to me. This is due to my training and observation of many clients.  Hearing the other specific vocal tendencies that connect to the other organs in the body help diagnose a persons strengths and weaknesses. I presently do no not have a link for this information, but the book “Between Heaven and Earth” [Beinfield /Korngold] is one resource for insights into Traditional Asian diagnosis.

Some knowledge of Traditional Asian Medicine and Ayurvedic Medicine would help make some of what I am saying much more plausible. Also, research into the general health or lack of health of our, in this case female, youth. Depression, reproductive organ problems, the general weakening of the immune system, eating disorders are some of the common ills that plague young women.

Television commercials for over the counter and prescribed medicine can give many insights into the minds and bodies of our population. I think it is really important to question what is called “normal” today. Medical “normal”, in my opinion,  is not vibrant health. Any medical diagnosis, whether symptomatic or more serious, needs to lead to further research on the part of  the patient. This is especially true when a diagnosis is called normal.


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On Tuesday 12/14 2011, The Today Show’s Jane Pauley [AARP: Your Life Calling You] interviewed Orlando Ward. Mr. Ward’s life is a tapestry of ups and downs that have been woven together with some of the most colorful threads of experience.   The interview really touched my heart. It reminded me that how we see the world is what determines what we become, and that we all can impact the world in a positive way. His story exudes hope.

At times hope can seem illusive.  I have, at times, thought that a certain level of health, wealth and knowledge would have to be attained before creating a certain level of significant  change  in my own life. The interview with Mr. Ward schooled me on that misconception and helped me recognize that hope is within and therefore  exists everywhere and anywhere. Mr. Ward’s story told me that sometimes the most dire of circumstances are needed to awaken that hopefulness. His story reminded me of authors and speakers Byron Katie [link here]  and Eckhart Tolle [link here]. Both of these people hit ” bottom” as the major stepping stone to their awakening. The Hulu link that is presently available has the entire 4 minute and change interview. Mr. Ward radiates his heart felt power.

A former basketball scholarship student at Stanfordord University, Mr. Ward, now age 51, attests to his ability to be coached. His successes and later dip into years spent on Skid Row and life changing addiction, taught him the difference between thinking and feeling life’s lessons. Quoting Mr. Ward:

“I’ve been coached all my life. I knew how to take coaching, but I didn’t feel it, I did not live it”.

The beauty of these words resonated within me. This epiphany is one of the building blocks to enlightened living. A lesson truly learned is to take what I have  absorbed and implement it in my daily life. Patience is the key.

Orlando Ward is presently the Director of Community Affairs for Volunteers of America in Greater Los Angles. Please learn more about him and his life and interview via AARP [link here] and The Today Show via Hulu [link here].

Orlando Ward found hope in a card board box on Skid Row.  His story has me thinking that hope is something that lives within each one of us, waiting to be awakened.


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After listening to an interview with Judy Byrne I wanted to share her description of how the mind perceives the world through its entrainment. This comes from a Tapping Insiders Club [link here]. This segment, with Jessica Ortner,  concerns the critical voice that is within most everyone. Judy’s approach is to understand that the critical voice is one that needs to be identified, repeatedly thanked and then reprogrammed with a more positive message and approach.


Two ideas  came to surface in the interview that, I believe, are true for most people. One is the  fairly common recognition of the impact of information overload leading to emotional overwhelm.  Some by choice and some by living in this electronically frazzled world. Those feelings of overwhelm have many negative emotional by products. But in the end it is what is going on within us that has the final say. In order to prevail we have to be conscious of what our thoughts are.


“We imagine we see the world as it is, but we don’t.  We see it as we are. We tell our senses what information we want collected.  When we stop hearing our inner voice saying we are not good enough we change the way our brains send messages to our senses. The message is to look for evidence that confirms that belief. We do Template Matching we do it all the time. There is so much information in any moment that we can’t  possibly process it all. So,  we look for Templates of  the experiences that we have already had. The templates that help us make sense of our experience  by matching with.”

For more information about Judy Byrne [link here].


The above quote succinctly expresses the baseline question that I am asking about everything. What am I seeing and how am I seeing it? How can my patterns of thinking be reprogrammed? How can I be reborn each day and see the world fresh? With this intention I think life takes on new meaning. I am not sure what that exactly means, but I am willing to break open and change.

Here is one description of  Emotional Templates [link here].

As a postscript: I have discovered The Unique Healing Program Donna Pessin since writing this post. This program has the potential to create greater internal balance by healing the gut and entire body. It is NOT a magic bullet. [link here].


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At times, yes. That feeling has truly delayed my physical, emotional and spiritual healing. I come to see that, in the past, the health practitioners I have been generally attracted to are extreme in their views and approaches. How so? Well, some practitioners see the body the way they see the world: a toxic place that we need protection from. It is easy to understand why. How we consciously or unconsciously see the world is reinforced by what we listen to, watch read. Most notably are our biological and environmental histories that deeply effect our patterns of thinking developed in childhood and over the years.


I know, first hand, the difference between using drugs and surgery vs herbs, superfoods, vitamins diet, bodywork, colonics, etcetera. However, the point of view of these two worlds has some commonality. The shared opinion, by many health care providers and the public,  is that disease is a battle that needs to be fought.


Many people who are active in the Alternative-Holistic healing communities profess, or at least dabble with the idea, that  our thoughts greatly impact our lives. However, when it comes to  the condition of the environment and the health of our citizens, their take is pretty negative. Some would argue realistic. I am  here to question what I see and how I see it.

Some things just seem so apparent to me; global warming, air pollution, the sewage laden condition of our waterways and oceans. Deep in my gut  and heart, it all feels overwhelming. My feeling of overwhelm and despair is paralyzing and clouds what and how I see the world. Facing my feeling of overwhelm has been one of the primary emotions I need to heal. It is not an energizing mindset. Approaching life with a consciously positive attitude is not easy, but being pessimistic is a drain.


More and more aware of  my perspective I recognize my conscious and unconscious beliefs and mental conditioning. I notice this wherever I go. I  very often focus on people that do not generally look well to me. Trash on the roadsides and dirty cities often provide great fodder for feeding my negativity. Could it be that it is not what I am seeing but how I am seeing it that is the real  issue? I feel this is true.


Reprogramming the neural pathways of the brain is one of the  processes I am utilizing. Here are some things that I use to consciously explore the world around and within me:

What The Bleep [link here] is a film that proves and disputes many practical and scientific theories. You can buy the theater length and extended version on the website link.

Dr. Joe Dispenza [link here] is featured in WTB. HIs very informative and entertaining video entitled “Evolve Your Brain”. His talk expands on the principles of Quantum Physics. This entails re-patterning our neural pathways to create change in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

EFT Tapping expert Stacey Vornbrock [link here] has developed tapping protocols based on her study with Dispenza. These tapping sequences  are extremely effective when repeated daily to interrupt unwanted behavior patterns.

The Tapping Solution [link here] is a website providing information about The Emotional Freedom Technique. EFT is a great guided or self help  therapy technique.  EFT UNIVERSE [link here] has facts and research info about EFT.

Rebirthing [link here] is a therapy that helps heal our physical and emotional body through the breath. Peace Arnold brings love, light, compassion and humor to her work with individuals and groups. I highly recommend this healing therapy.

Colon Therapy  is one way to begin to detoxify the body, clear the brain and lighten the spirit. Home units are available. Initially, getting a series from a Colon Therapist is the best. Home Colonic Units available at Dancing Cells [link here].

Laugh. Do not underestimate the power of joy and humor.


Within the Raw Food Community cleansing  is the  major alternative to going the Allopathic Medical route. The raw diet is cleansing, but what is absorbing all the toxins being unearthed? The Allopathic protocol is largely about masking symptoms with prescriptive medicine. Their next point of action is, or leads to, surgery, chemo, radiation, etcetera.

Many of the loudest voices in the Raw Food Community are men. Their approach is warrior – super hero  [Vitalis and Wolfe] and most of their followers are women.

I have done many cleanses, colonics, dietary regimes. I am grateful for the information I have learned form these men.  However, most of the cleansing and diets have some strong similarities to the philosophy of allopathic medicine. The body is a battle ground and we all need to “man up” and “go to war”.

From Macrobiotics to the Raw Food Community I often observed practitioners and clients ending up returning to Allopathic Treatment. I am sure I have found an answer in healing my GI Tract.  Please visit Unique Healing Donna Pessin. Within her program lies, what I believe, one answer to healing the digestive system and entire body. It is not a magic bullet by any means!

Is Allopathic treatment wrong? It can be a life saver in an emergency. For long term illness it can be a crutch. I would not rely on it for the long haul. This is especially true if you want to live vibrantly as years go on.