Traditional Asian Medical Theory says that within the body, the Heart and Small Intestines are most active in the summer. What does that mean in a nutshell? Well, the element for Summer is Fire and these two organs will be tested and strained a bit when the heat is turned up externally. The effects are internal. Click here for some easy to digest information about summer- fire and the heart and small intestines. The few recipes included alongside the more pertinent information look delicious.You may want to wait on them or tweak them a bit if you are on The UHP. Thank you to chef Aine McAteer and

Last summer, a relative newbie to The Unique Healing Program, I got hit pretty hard with feelings of deep tiredness. I ended up taking mid day siestas. Learning how to rest is an important element to healing. Read that one again. I need to read that one again. It is true. Anyway, that tiredness would often come  somewhere between the hours of 11 am to 2 pm. The time the Heart and Small Intestines are most active 11 am to 3 pm. Also a time when heart attacks- myocardial infarctions often occur. Heart attacks also  happen during sleep, maybe around that 11 pm to 3 am period time, as well? Poor sleep is a strong comment on heart health, no matter what your age.

What has been worse for me during the Summer and a few weeks before the season?  I am seeing some flair ups 15 months into The Unique Healing Program. Here is a short list:


Joint pain inflammation in my weak areas. Right hip, sciatic pain. Some manipulation helps and keeping the gut moving, absorption of acids with Sodium Bentonite Clay, less carbs after 2 – 4 pm. Also. cutting back on carbs since the spring has really helped me lessen my symptoms. Someone on UHP told me they went to 25 grams a day. I did this and did find myself to be less symptomatic. Something to think about if you are experiencing itching and other annoying symptoms that I find are triggered by flour products, especially wheat.


Skin inflammations got worse. Anything that was red got redder. Good News, this year this is way better. My ear irritation, which was really, really bad is almost non- existent. It did take almost one year to clear and sustain that  improvement. I think if I had ditched organic whole grain bread – flour products completely, my ears may have not acted up quite as much. Live and learn. May need a few lifetimes to get this all straight.  Anyway, there was a period of one or two months during UHP where I was eating some kind of bread 5 out of 7 days a week. I knew I was in trouble when I looked at how many grams of carbs was in one slice and started to actually feel a bit “panicked”. What was I going to do without my bwead. The w is intentional.


My sleep was not good for at least 8 years before finding The UHP.This summer my sleep is much improved from last year at this time. A huge turnaround one year later. Not perfect, but I am grateful! Now that summer is here – approaching- my sleep has been a bit less steady. I am taking more Cal Cit and GABA, L-Theanine to make up for it. Which brings me to ….


These symptoms have a variety of intensities for everyone who has this issue. There are different levels of this annoying manifestation of a Lymph System that needs help. This UHP really has healed this  problem for me in a big way. My light sensitivity was mostly to” ugly “indoor lighting, florescent lighting, and just being particular to lighting. Okay, so to many that may not sound so extreme, but I learned after moving from a dark apartment in NYC – 25 years, to a skylit condo in the desert of So Cal, that I can easily become agitated by light.


One observation is that mold, parasites, and other bacteria often grow and flourish is dark moist places. The sun and dryness of the desert is not conducive to the proliferation of these things. Too bad just living here does not kill them off! It should, it is the end of May and the triple digit temperatures have already paid a visit.

My first hand experience this Summer – Pre Summer is that I am having more intense “gut experiences”. I feel they are related to my Small Intestines clearing some things out. Summer is a the time when the Small Intestines / Heart are, according to Chinese Medicine, under more  stress. One thing to note is that there is a theory, which I am sure is true, that the Small Intestines is where our food is transmuted into blood. Since the paired organ with the SI is the Heart, the heat of Summer, the element of fire all come into play. Because I have been studying and exposed to this way of thinking since the early 80’s this all makes sense to me. If is sounds like gibberish to you, I can understand why. Maybe down the line aspects of this way of thinking might make some sense.


Waking up more agitated, worrying, thinking about what is wrong, could go wrong. These are all things I have been able to watch in myself, work at not buying into, at times just giving into, or talking myself out of. As crazy as this may sound to some people, after my gut is more empty in the morning, these feelings diminish. Okay, they can escalate some days and then diminish. That is a whole other story. I can actually watch how waves of depression are completely attached to the crud that is inside of me. Hope you are not  eating while your are reading this.If you are on The Unique Healing Program, it will probably take a whole lot more to make you sick!


Another Summer -Heat – Fire imbalance I have noticed is getting more agitated or tired toward the end of the day.  I have this imbalance all year. It has greatly improved on UHP, but I have noticed a bit of an upsurge since the Summer season is setting in. How exactly does that play out? Well, not knowing how to stop doing things, like another entity is running me. On the other end of the spectrum,  just not having the energy to do anything.

It is okay not to do anything, It is okay not to do anything, It is okay not to do anything. That is my mantra. The problem is that  I do not REALLY believe it, and that is not good. I have been learning to do less for many years now, but I have to be honest that there are times I have to force myself to stop. It is, more recently, increasingly easier. The truth is that feeling relaxed comes with a healthier gut and nervous system. I have experienced this first hand.


Craving more sugary foods, lighter foods like sweet fruit, etcetera is normal in the hotter weather. Unfortunately, these foods trigger symptoms of Candida, acidic and toxic overload, parasites, etcetera. When our digestion and elimination is healthy eating these sweet foods in moderation is all good.The other end of the spectrum is the desire to consume mostly heavy foods in the summer. At time when your body needs to lighten up.

Doing more aggressive cleanses in the warmer weather is what many alternative practitioners advocate in the Spring and Summer. That can be seductive. Remember that on The Unique Healing Program you are consistently detoxing all the time in a much more highly managed and thorough way. I believe that keeping the diet as simple as I can creates stability earlier down the line. I know this one very well. I had a great deal to unlearn from my past cleansing, detox, juicing, juice feasting, raw food diet, etcetera past.


I love the feeling of  sun on my body, however last year I found the heat and sun much less appealing. Enjoying it  more this year. Important to  know that blistering, sudden skin eruptions, unusual sun sensitivity is part of what you may experience while eliminating toxins on UHP. There are crutches to mitigate those symptoms, but they can be triggered by the summer heat.

The sun block business is booming due to the sun sensitivity, fear of the sun and ultimately poor health of so many. Look at the ingredients of what you are using when you do use sun protection. Buy the best you can in the Health Food Store or online. Our skin is the largest organ of the body and what we put on it is absorbed into our bloodstream.

If you feel really annoyed after being in the sun, more easily angered, you are not alone. Remember that summer, sun, heat and fire + a backed up gut = agitation. Drinking sugary drinks, especially alcohol while sitting in the sun is not a good idea for anyone. Can be mildly to extremely inflaming.

That is all for now. Hope what I write here allows you to know you are not alone in what you are experiencing, now and down the line, on The Unique Healing Program Donna Pessin.








If you have just begun The Unique Healing Program, or  are on it for any period of time AND feel really good, then you, from what I can tell, are NOT the norm.  A less polite way of saying  that  you are a freak of nature, that I am jealous, and please let me know what “drugs” you are doing to feel so good.

To get to the point here, who even considers drinking copious amounts of clay for an indefinite period of time unless they do not feel well in the first place? Nobody I know. If you are on this Unique Healing Program and feel really crappy you are not alone. And hey, guess what? You felt crappy before! Come on, you know you did.

Okay, there are ways to feel better [the crutches], but some days you may not be able to navigate to that point of feeling better with them. On those days  you will feel just like what is inside of you. That acknowledgment is what sobers me up and keeps me going forward on The UHP.

This is a hard one, but no one feels lousy while on this program from ingesting clay and herbs [BTW, it DOES GET BETTER!] It is what is on the inside that is causing the TASS problem. The way I feel informs me of what is lurking inside. I don’t care about other people and their blanking ways of managed sickness. I do not wish them any ill will, but at some point my consistent observation is that “things” will break down. The nursing home and assisted living business is booming, baby!

I have had very, very long moments in time where I say – I don’t know about THIS BLANKING  UNIQUE HEALING PROGRAM. How could I tell anyone I know to do this bloody thing? And this is coming from someone who has weathered a whooooole lot of waiting for other healing programs to kick in. So, please know just one thing, if you are even considering doing The Unique Healing Program you are pretty damn smart for seeing its value. I wish I had a an easier route for all of us. Believe me, it would make Donna Pessin’s life much, much easier if her program was an initial and long term breeze.


When I started The UHP I told Donna that I needed to do colonics to remain on the program to lessen my symptoms. Donna told me to remember that colonics were a crutch. She told me large amounts of clay with the use of Magnesium Citrate was the same thing. In my experience Mag Cit and more clay is not the same as a good colonic. If you do NOT want to have colonics or buy  a home unit and do them yourself, the Mag Cit with the clay is probably the next best thing. Does not give me the same result as a colonic. Probably can, and has worked for many others out there.

Please write me here and I can tell you my experience with colonics in a private email, if that is better for you.

The Unique Healing Program can work and part of what makes it work is knowing the difference between these two things: what you do not WANT to do and what your instincts are telling you is the right thing for you to do. It is very,very easy on The Unique Healing Program to confuse what you do not want to do, what makes you uncomfortable, and what is simply not working for you at this time. Think about it and don’t dump the whole UHP over too high a dosage of clay, Bowel Strength or something else. You may at some point need to go with your own advice in order not to jump The UHP ship and heal. What do I mean? Think about it.  This is an emotionally complicated subject, but one that needs addressing for those on this program. My opinion, obviously.

I believe The Unique Healing Program can work, does work and it is worth the effort at whatever level you are able to do it. You are not better at it if you are ingesting more clay, etcetera than someone else. We are not machines, we are human beings with different needs. Really important thing to understand and sit with. It makes no sense to bring in Traditional Medical- one size fits all ways-  into a completely holistic approach like The Unique Healing Program. The take two and call me in the morning mentality has failed many.

Most importantly, to observe is that as much a some people  say they dislike Western Medicine, it  effects us deeply on many levels. Western Medicine, unknowingly  to the greater audience, shapes our perception of  our progress on The Unique Healing Program and all other non-medically based healing programs. In order to succeed in healing, this is a daily undoing.

We are not machines. We are gardens that need tending. A metaphor I read in a Chinese Medical text years ago. Healing on The Unique Healing Program is not a one size fits all type of deal. I do wish it was that simple.





This post is written to support the recommendations of Donna Pessin to use Calcium Citrate for buffering acidity in the body while healing our digestion on The Unique Healing Program. Using Calcium Citrate is not a long term strategy for pain relief. It can be used as a buffer for accumulated acids and toxins and give relief while healing. I have to say that when I found out about the use of Cal Cit on The Unique Healing Program, I had no intention of using it. I asked Donna Pessin if I could just continue using New Chapter Bone Strength. Bone Strength is a calcium supplement derived primarily from food sources [seaweed being one]. That  source, in my mind was a better quality, more easily assimilated form of calcium. The Cal Cit that Donna recommends, from the information I had, was a “cheap” calcium that the body could not assimilate and would just end up causing more of those dreaded calcifications. So there, take that! Well, I was wrong.

Here is a video of Donna explaining Cal Cit and how it works. If you are new to The Unique Healing Program and Donna Pessin, don’t kill the messenger. Listen to the whole thing.

I wish I had the energy tell you how I determined that taking Calcium supplements were not a good idea. It does not really matter, but goes way back to my days in Macrobiotics, all the way forward into The Raw Food Movement and the Body Ecology Diet Donna Gates. One thing I can say is that if the Alimentary Canal, GI tract are not healthy nothing really will create deep healing anywhere in the body. Supplements and diets are all a band – aid. All the supplements, organic food and other holistic healing modalities are a way better route than the Traditional Western Medicine “protocol” of numbing drugs and surgery. Do the Holistic band-aids heal the body at the very core? For the vast majority of people the answer is an emphatic NO! Why? Usually most people seek help when Holisticc measures-cures are not enough. Often what happens is that the symptoms are lessened, recede or temporarily go away. Worst case nothing happens at all.


In 2009 David Wolfe put together a very believable argument against “Bad Calcium” in his first Longevity Now Conference. I thought I had found the Holy Grail. I did learn a whole lot in the process while not healing my gut. I do not regret all of what I did. I did not know any better. And at that point everything else I had done to heal my gut had failed. I really do not like the word failed. Using the word failed without any emotion attached to it is exactly what happened. Like a science experiment.

For the most part I have gotten over the regret of spending so much time and money on these products, treatments, etcetera over the past decades. I can say one thing they did do for me, they clarified how The Unique Healing Program’s basic premise makes such absolute sense. I knew this soon after I found it. My past journey also helped me understand why many would think that the Unique Healing Program is all so very wrong, weird or undoable. I truly feel empathetic and somewhat sorry for those who do not understand the value of UHP. I think there ARE some who can heal their guts without it, but they are a select few.


Part of this is my guess, but I think Cal Cit can make up for what the Body Bentonite or any other kind of ingestible Sodium Bentonite Clay can not do. Why? SBC-BB is not a drug, it takes time and people can not often ingest as much as they may need for many reasons and blah, blah, blah. That is all I got right now. Of course, minerals like Cal Cit, Magnesium Citrate have their own particular properties that the body needs, but the body is impeded in absorbing and deriving it from food so it takes it from our own bones, etcetera and that is a very real problem. That, which I just stated ends up creating pain and other things like insomnia, skin rashes, acne, fibroids, and the list is endless.

When experiencing pain I have just started taking from one to four tablespoons of NOW or comparable brand Cal Cit. I do not like swallowing pills and find it easier to deal with. Probably gets absorbed more easily?  Anyway, you can get that exat dosage off the bottle. I wish I had not waited until now, 14 months into UHP to use higher doses of Cal Cit. Maybe it will work for you?


One thing I have noticed is that I can alleviate neck pain, and sleep better increasing Cal Cit. I do not take Cal Cit and Mag Cit at the same time. If you are taking Mag Cit for constipation the Cal Cit will nullify the Mag Cit. Easy to read about online. Anyway, I did not believe that Cal Cit would resolve neck stiffness. I had resolved in my past with various other natural methods that did not last for very long. I did see my neck pain as a build up of toxins that I was hoping to heal with diet, body work, colonics and Gallbladder flushes, liver healing. A couple of decades later I still had neck pain that was getting worse intermittently. By the way, that list of things I did is a very short one and it went on for many years. These things kept my neck pain at bay but did not heal the source, so the pain persisted.


Consider giving Cal Cit a try. Like Donna says [paraphrase]: If you find fireman at the fire you don’t blame them for starting it. Meaning that if you find calcifications in the body it is not the fault of taking calcium supplements. Calcifications are a toxicity – acidity issue that needs to be resolved by absorption of these acids – what UHP is primarily about- and escorting them out of the body.  In coordination with UHP Cal Cit and the other crutches can be very effective. Cal Cit is not a life long crutch, but one that can get you through some nasty symptoms of headaches, neck pain and other body aches and pains.

Most importantly, you may need to go way beyond your comfort level in the amounts  of the crutches you take. So experiment. If they work for awhile and stop you may need more or take a good hard look at your diet. Too many carbs and other acid forming – cleansing foods are probably the answer. The other thing is that you are PROBABLY going to have some pain while healing on UHP. Lessening these symptoms is something often may need to find the exact solution for on our own. As we heal the solutions need review.

Love to hear your experience while on The Unique Healing Program or other regimen that you are doing.







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Sometimes those crutches don’t work as well as they did yesterday, or a week ago. The reasons are very subjective. Whatever is being released from the body in terms of acidity, toxic matter may outweigh the crutches ability to nullify the symptoms. Some fancy language there : ) More clay can help. But if you are like me and tend more toward constipation, before and while on The Unique Healing Program, more clay can sometimes end up making me feel more bound up and stressed. Donna may say use Magnesium Citrate as a solution and that does help. How much Mag Cit to use is another story. Experiment, videos and books, or ask Donna if you hit a wall.

I often take a much larger dose of some of the crutches than I originally considered a large dose when I began the program, and much later down the line. Much larger doses started  after being on The UHP 9 months to one year into it. Recently I discovered L-Theanine and that it seems to make the GABA I am taking more effective. L -Theanine, for me, has been effective on its own-I took it the  first time without GABA. How do I experience that? I feel more centered, focused, upbeat, relaxed. However, as with all the crutches, I often hit a wall and I am never exactly sure why. The past few weeks I have some symptoms that come and go. The last few days they have parked themselves in my joints.


I have had some injury to my body from athletic and dance pursuits that were compounded by other choices. This all has added up to accumulated acidity. Acidity that got worse from cleansing diets that I was under the impression would lead to healing. They  would have been way more  healing if I had found The Unique Healing Program to partner with them. A substance like Sodium Bentonite Clay is necessary to help absorb the acids from a diet that helps break down toxins, but does not help them exit out. Finding the right amount of clay is crucial. A cleansing diet + nothing to absorb the toxins + an unhealthy gut =’s a recipe for pain. One example of a cleansing diet meeting that description would be The Body Ecology Diet – Donna Gates. Or a raw food diet that Dr. Fred Bisci might recommend to a patient. They may heal some people with constipation, etcetera- they did not heal mine.


So, finding the right amount of the “crutch” dosage is crucial. The amounts change, and I have needed more and less and more and and a little less as I have gone along. Also, sometimes when I am experiencing an outbreak of symptoms, eating way more simply, without a whole lot of cleansing foods helps. Donna’s one definition of more mainstream cleansing foods- high carb diet, sugar, refined foods vs the  other version, which is juice fasting [even on green juices], lots of lemon, garlic, spicy, Kombucha, fermented coconut water are a few examples. I remember once reading a comment  below one of Donna’s videos. The person wanted to know if they should drink more clay if doing The Master Cleanse. Her answer was an emphatic YES! The Master Cleanse is prime example of how the word cleanse is used today. When I first came upon Donna Pessin and her videos I was sort of confused by her use of the term cleanse. I had never thought of the outbreak of symptoms from refined carbs as being cleansing. Interesting.

I know it is important to reread The Unique Healing Program Books, especially the first one and watch the videos. I have interpreted what is said differently each time. It is easy for me to hear things the way I want or need to depending on my state of my health and mind.

Try that and see if it helps. Sometimes doing The Unique Healing Program can feel like wheels spinning. Watching Donna Pessin’s videos can be very consoling and remind me of why I am doing her program. Some days, weeks, months are harder than others. Just being honest.


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Making your own Colloidal Silver can work well for diminishing symptoms that some may have while on The Unique Healing Program. Take back that may. If you are willing to do this UHP you got some of those symptoms already.

So, with the understanding that the CS we make is much weaker than the CS that Donna Pessin sells, why bother drinking it? This is what I thought back in April of 2013. I went onto using MMS and Oregano Oil. I gave the CS we make to our dogs and drank it on occasion. Especially if I had a sore throat. One year later things have changed a bit.

To get to the point, I recently decided to drink a couple of cups of our own CS on a regular basis and have found it to be very helpful. Homemade CS may not have made as strong an impact on me one year ago, but I can not tell you that for sure. The amount needed to be consumed to make up for what UHP CS has to offer is significantly more. Homemade Colloidal Silver has had a noticeable effect on my thinking being clearer along with keeping some other symptoms at bay. This allows the Sodium Bentonite Clay to work most effectively. Depending on my diet [not too high in carbs, etc] it helps with diminishing some intestinal discomfort, and other annoyances.

At this time Donna Pessin is having some difficulty restocking her CS due to her manufacturer-distributor bailing unexpectedly.

What to do? Here are some options.


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I just found one GABA explanation that is pretty simple and to the point. It provides information concerning some questions and physical responses that I am having since taking GABA. GABA is sort of an enigma to me. I have not reached a groove and determined how much exactly works for me. I do regret NOT taking the advice of Donna Pessin in increasing my dosage more agressively back when I started taking it. For whatever reason, it wasn’t  until 5 months or more into UHP that Donna Pessin recommended I take GABA. Who knows why, but something that was going on with me and her experience with others triggered her urgent recommendation of my taking it at that particular time.I think she has an updated version of her first book that has more information about GABA than the one I have.


At times I seem to need a increased amount of GABA, and I am not clear enough as to exactly why. I seem to need at least 3,000 mg  and have taken up to 12,000 mg in an hours time.  Why so much? I am not sure, but it is a biological need that am only now coming to terms with.  One in particular is that the anxiety that I have experienced over the years is something that seemed normal to me. My anxiety was outweighed by my friends, clients, neighbors and family. Seemed that way. Comparing myself  to others has created many a blind spot and provided some sort of comfort.  One the other side it isan inner voice that compares myself to others, which is an endless form of self torture. I have been working on that one for quite awhile.

I am starting to see that the more intense my symptoms from GABA the more I may need. This is something Donna Pessin speaks about in her video on dosage of supplements. The one thing I can tell you is that it is something each person has to experiment with and the dose does change and the need for it can change. You may need more now, less soon enough and even more later on down the line. Does this have to do with the stress that the body is going through when toxins are released from our organs, tissues, etcetera? My guess is yes.

I wrote a large portion of this post in March of this year, 2014. Recently, 5/2014 I found L-Theanine through a fellow UHP participant who discovered it through a physician. It was prescribed to enhance the effects of GABA. I am knew to L-Theanine, but so far I find it pretty amazing. It is helping me feel more relaxed, clear thinking and able to sleep more soundly. More about L-Theanine in a near future post. I found something that may be of help in understanding more about this amino acid L-Theanine that is produced in, where else, the gut!

Does Donna Pessin creator of The Unique Healing Program recommend L-Theanine? As far as I know it is not in her books or videos. I have not asked her. Do some research and see what you feel and think about L-Theanine. One thing I can say is that I would not know about GABA or L-Theanine if it was not for Donna Pessin. One thing leads to another. Also, The Unique Healing Program is what makes all these “crutch” supplements work so well. If you don’t know what the word “crutch” means in this context, read The UHP books or at least look at the videos. The are free on YouTube.


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I watch Public Television News here in the US – PBS Newshour and when in the car I listen to National Public Radio- NPR.  To me these sources convey a more balanced and curious observation of all subjects. I most appreciate it when news stories offer solutions and show people finding their way out of the storms and resolving problems. Offering the listeners hope and not a whole lot of over intellectualized sad stories. PBS and NPR do not offer solutions enough. Although I give them credit for trying, especially around education and the criminal justice system. Health is another story and they are not at all progressive in that way. Where is this going and what does this have to do with a toxic substance like Depleted Uranium? Hopefully what I write here will make sense, offer solutions and some hope.


Attack and kill is pretty much the protocol for illnesses by traditional medicine. People sign up because they are afraid, tired, sick and just want someone to make it all go away, or just don’t know any better – feel they have no other choices. Unfortunately, making it all go away for many means something more permanent. I am talking about death. The treatment for  “life threatening” illnesses is rarely ever held accountable for the fatality of life. The only reason I would like to see that protocol held accountable is to change these protocols and start healing people. For some, who can absorb these treatments and move on, it can buy them time, but I do not see it as healing. Not talking about emergency room type life saving treatment here, or last minute removal of a diseased organ, I can not cover it all, but I hope you know what I am saying. It is a situation by situation deal that involves so many variables.


If you do not know more about Depleted Uranium here is some information from a source that does offer some solutions and explanations. Dr. Gabriel Cousens, MD at the Tree of Life Center in Patagonia, Az. You may not agree with all his tactics, but his life affirming view is something to be commended. Some practical  guidelines here from Dr. Cousens on how to deal with radiation toxicity.

I deeply feel that The Unique Healing Program Donna Pessin is a way to detoxify from the exposure to Depleted Uranium and all other heavy metals It is a grounded program that is presented by someone who you may or may not be able to identify with, but has a practical vision to help heal, live and thrive. The more you know the more you will appreciate Donna Pessin, or not.

LL’s Magnetic Clay is a website to investigate for the external use of clay. They have an internal clay I used called Edible Earth. Expensive and not any better than UHP or others that are much, much cheaper. Their external clay is very good. The have clay mixed with other cleansing elements for all types of heavy metal detoxification. I would follow the directions for the sensitive treatment protocol at first, if you decide to do them. Foot baths are a good way to start.

For people all over the world there can be answers that are way better than what Western Medicine has to offer, which is nothing that is nurturing and healing. Is this lack of care aconspiracy or purposeful by the powers that be? I don’t know, but that kind of thinking is going nowhere with a solution. At this point it is not benefiting anyone, not even Western Medicine, insurance companies, dictators, governments or anyone else. You many disagree with that, but all people of all economic groups are being effected by the choices of war. These choices have effected our entire ecosystem and effect everyone on this planet. From the very wealthy to the very poor. I know the poor are effected the most deeply. The most expensive western medical care can not make that go away. Western Medicine does not have a plan in place to resolve deep poisoning and the illnesses that follow.

There is hope, and the healthier we all are the easier it is to see that vision and solutions. I really believe this. I also know what it is like to wake up and feel we are all doomed. It is all about the gut, the immune system and how the condition of these body functions colors our thinking. It is as simple as it is complex. Maybe you can relate.