Leave a comment



After my father died, about 6 years ago, I knew I needed to confront my sadness. I was fortunate to have my husband, but I needed to sort through and unload my feelings often, and in a more therapeutic way.  I wanted to unburden myself out loud and have a listener. With friends the glitch was that I did not want to hear the words that gave me zero solace. Sorry for your loss, and I am so sorry to hear that, rang hollow to me and provided no resolution. These were phrases that left me feeling more alone. Yes, I do understand that death is uncomfortable for people, and certain routine expressions fill a need. Words that are  easily accessed. They can be used without feeling the heart wrenching pain that accompanies death. So, I decided to talk to myself.


I was living in a new part of the US and did not want to start a relationship with a psychotherapist, a rebirther, shaman, etcetera. I also did not find traditional psychotherapy direct enough. Been there, done that. I also needed more relief than one session a week could provide.  I needed to help myself. So, after a number years of using Emotional Freedom Technique I knew I had enough tools to heal, and this time on my own terms. I had this clear sense that I could give myself the support and daily venting I needed. I had a few years of ezperiencing Emotional Freedom Technique in private sessions with a couple of practitioners. Also, some good information from listening to  The World Tapping Summit produced by The Tapping Solution.


We were renting a house in Palm Springs, California with two large walk in closets, one of which we were not using. I would go into that one, very large, empty closet with a chair and a box of tissues and begin to talk to my dad and cry. I used the Tapping Points from Emotional Freedom Technique while I talked either out loud or silently. It was one of the most cathartic and healing experiences of my life up to that point. EFT was there for me when I needed it, it was free, and it did not have to end in the usual 55 minutes of most traditional therapy sessions. Those tapping / venting sessions were very revealing. I learned more about myself and my feelings concerning my father, family, and life than I ever thought possible. Soon I brought in another chair and sat it across from me. I would imagine that my father, mother, or whomever else I wanted to talk to was sitting across from me. The results were highly unburdening. They were filled with many emotions, primarily the sad relief of letting go of all that sadness. Forgiveness and deeper understanding of myself and others was my gift each day. Those sessions helped me move on.


For people who are willing to try to access feelings of sadness, loss, confusion, etcetera that arise when healing from illness, Emotional Freedom Technique and Faster EFT can be extremely helpful. From my own recent experience, EFT can be made more effective by using The 5 Second Rule that Mel Robbins has created. Her audiobook is available, as of right now, on Youtube. If you like audiobooks, I think it is worth the investment, or purchasing the book itself.


When we release toxic matter that has been stored in the body for decades there are emotions that are connected with those toxins. We often self medicate with food, sugar, drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, television, video games, shopping, etcetera to avoid confronting uncomfortable feelings. As children we learn from adults how to shove our pain away with these behaviors and substances. This is a very short handed explanation  as to why people suffer so much when they “clean house”. We crave the things that shielded us from the emotional pain, and those cravings return with a vengeance when we remove them. It is called withdrawal, and it can bite.