ONE AWKWARD TITLE
I did not know what to entitle this post, a post about a subject that does not get a great deal of coverage. What has made it more difficult is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to describe, or sum up, my experience in a sound bite. Healing for me has not been easy and definitely not a quick fix. I sure wish it had been. Right now the title is Hernia:Abscess Fistula Crisis. Not very catchy. Okay, so here I go…
WHEN THINGS COME UNLEASHED
Within the past year I have wanted to write another post about my Hernia / Abscess bursting, and the spread of inflammation that resulted. In that first post I said that I would soon be writing in more detail, but I was simply not able to. I did not have the energy and mental clarity. I have truly needed all of my energy to heal, and do some daily tasks. Because I did not go to a hospital I came to the realization that people found it hard to understand the serious nature of what I had been through. Thinking back and putting my set of circumstances in context with the society I live in, I now understand that response from others. It has helped me see my experience through their eyes. This insight has made healing from a Chronic Illness a life lesson. That may sound a bit cliche, but fortunately for me it is true. Why do I say that? Because I am not a victim of my circumstances due to what I have learned, and that perspective has only empowered me. Still, it has not been easy.
FEELING POSITIVE VS EVERYTHING ELSE
Through my health crisis (aka being sick) I have come to recognize that I have to be there for myself. It is unfair to depend on others to be a support in a way that I am not sure anyone can. What I have come to fully understand is that each individual person is in charge of their own thoughts and actions. Believing in my ability to heal is up to me. Saying it and feeling it are two very different things. Accepting this responsibility had to happen in order to get well. This acceptance tells me that healing is happening on a deeper level. I had to give up needing the understanding and approval of others to be at peace with my decisions. The only approval necessary, in order to heal, is my own. This is something I have to remind myself of often.
Recognizing the support I do have has helped me heal. Fortunately, I often express gratitude to the two people who have been there for me, my husband and Jennifer Daniels, MD. That recognition of others sounds like a no brainer, but part of not feeling well can be focusing on what I do not have. When I feel pain, it takes an extra effort to feel positive, and grateful. I wish it came easier.
TICK – TOCK
For about 15 to 20 years I had a small lump in my right groin. I was told it was an Inguinal Hernia. A good part of that time the lump did not hurt, and it was hardly visible. Instinctively, I feel it has been there since I was in my late 20’s early 30’s. I deducted that the lump was a build up of bacteria, parasites, etcetera due to long term constipation. My hypothesis was that the accumulation of acidic waste weakened the membranes of my body and set me up for a “hernia”. A long history of constipation, in my experience, usually means a sluggish Liver/Gallbladder, and Cecum. All located on the right side of the body. This sluggishness is often reflected in the Transverse and Sigmoid Colon. So, my Hernia/ Abscess situation had been building for a very long time.
TOXINS NEED TO MOVE OUT IN A TIMELY WAY
A lack of movement in the Ascending Colon is evidence that the Liver/Gallbladder are sluggish. The Liver is partially located under the right ribcage. Liver/Gallbladder sluggishness makes it harder for waste matter to move up from the Cecum, located close the right groin. Among other factors, movement of waste matter is challenged by the Law of Gravity, a formidable opponent. In Chinese Medical Theory the Liver is an organ of expansion and upward movement. If the Liver is overwhelmed by a deluge of toxins, etcetera it will be reflected, at some point, by a sluggish response of all bodily functions. Chronic Bowel problems will be one major indicator that something is not quite right, and that includes Constipation and Irritable Bowel symptoms.
I do plan to write more about my Hernia/Abscess experience. I can say that it was very traumatic and messy. Blood, infectious material, and more. All I experienced has made it clear to me why Western Medicine employs surgery. Then the use of antibiotics and pain killers to deal with infection/inflammation spreading. This is not the road that I chose to take, but after my experience I can understand why it is taken by so many people. Surgeries usually entail a life long relationship with doctors, medications and other surgeries. This is not the protocol that I felt would be good for me, so my choice has been a road less taken.
Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD was / is the healing force, along with my willfulness and my husband’s support, that got me through the healing of my Abscess, the containing of Inflammation, the painful aftermath, the road to healing.