notyourrawmama


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NEW NORMAL: ATTACK AND DEFEND

REALITY BITES BECAUSE IT JUST DOES

A few years ago, when I started to write these blog posts, I hoped that I would reach other people who I had things in common with, and I did. What I discovered was revealing and not always very flattering in terms of what we shared. In conversations of all kinds I found myself looking in a mirror, and I did not often like what was being reflected back to me. It was an eyeopener because of my willingness to acknowledge that what angers me about others is often something I need to look at in myself. Part of what connected me to some of the people I met were characteristics I did not like about myself, something I wanted to resolve, and not justify through our knowing each other. Fear is not an attractive characteristic and that was pretty much what we all shared.

MAYBE IT IS OUR SHADOW THAT IS THE PROBLEM

So, fear is at the root of not feeling safe. It was hard for me to face that I  definitely did not feel safe most of my life. Feeling safe in the world was not my strongpoint. My life circumstances did not read like a person making decisions from a place of fear, but I knew better. A poorly functioning Gut and Weak Immune System did not make me feel  protected from the inside out. I can admit this while acknowledging the acts of violence and threats going on in the world. Also, despite living in New York City on 9/11/2001I, an incident that did change my feelings of personal safety, but my fear was more systemic than that. I was sure the basis of my fear, no matter what I had been through, was greatly determined by something deep. If I wanted to be healthy I had to look at my reaction to others fears. I needed to look at the underbelly. The things I did not find attractive about these other people, like me, who were also struggling with their Chronic Health issues.

YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME

The spectrum of opportunity stretches far on the internet, so through this blog I have met people from all over the world. Here in the USA, some lived on the coasts, some in the middle of the country. People from all over the world. I came to understand from listening to their gripes that the fear of something being taken from them caused feelings of fear and defensiveness. That fear greatly determined much of what was coming out of all our mouths. I came to understand how this thinking greatly influences all our decisions. It was clear to me that Poor health, Chronic Illness, Weak Immune Systems all contribute to this kind of “Fear of the Other” thinking. If a person feels that they can not defend themselves from within (Weak Internal Health Defense) the world outside themselves is a much more scary place.

IT IS EASY TO TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE THAT LOOK JUST LIKE OURSELVES

People I met through this blog often had more Right Leaning political views on Politics, Race, and Immigration that I did not share. There was a pattern of characterizing people that seemed so different than themselves as a threat. My anger toward those who felt this way was screaming at me to take a good hard look at myself. To understand their fears and not judge them with the same fear that they were judging people who were different than themselves. I forced myself to look at what I had in common with the people who had the  unexamined fear of “The Other”. The kind of fear that diminishes health and, in my experience, develops from feeling defenseless and unable to fend off Opportunistic Bacteria, a Weak Immune System.

I AM GOING TO HIT YOU BEFORE YOU HIT ME

Here in the USA, and from what I see and hear around the world, the behavior that is prevailing in society and government is attack and defend. Sadly, the United States has become more of blatant divider politically  in words and actions. The money that goes to building an even stronger military is defended and rationalized by people every day. Keeping people feeling unsafe is a strategy for the ever increasing Military Budget. I deeply feel that this way of thinking is greatly impacted by their own poor health and Weak Inner Defense Systems. This may sound simplistic, but I strongly stand by it.

STILL WATERS RUN VERY DEEP

From my experience with myself and others I have come to the realization that even pain staking healing of Chronic Illness does not always mean  an awareness and ability to change fearful thinking and behavior. Emotional wounding runs deep and needs to be handled in therapeutic ways that are healing and build understanding. Ways that do not only threaten the tribal alliances people have, their relationships, their work and finances. Most people, here in the USA, do not own a Passport and therefore, depending on where they live, do not often interact with people from other cultures. Meeting new Immigrants from unfamiliar places changes that.

BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE

My observation is that healing on a physical / biological level does not magically wipe away the historical patterns of perception that are deeply imbedded in our collective psyches. The images of enslaved Black and Brown people shackled, barefoot, in ragged clothing, whipped and hung from trees, the degrading use of the N word are imbedded in our collective psyches. Just from the political climate around the world I am sure that most white people do NOT understand the shameful scar Slavery has left on us all. I hope more of us are learning, I know I am.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO? MAYBE NEITHER

Deep change may have to entail leaving behind people who are not wiling to grow and change. How we handle all this determines our health and personal growth. Tough decisions are made by action and inaction. Judging others takes on a whole new meaning when we face these situations head on. When we all face ourselves.

I have found help from Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD. Check out her website. She may not be for you, but she provides well researched information on her radio shows and in her other communications.

notyourrawmama

 

 


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CHEMICAL TOXICITY: WHEN YOU JUST CAN’T STOP DOING

THE NORMALIZATION OF COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR

I am a person detoxing from Mercury, Mold and other Heavy Metal and Chemical contaminants. These are substances we are all unwillingly exposed to in our air, water and soil. As these contaminants leave my body I feel the burn, itch, aches and pains. There are ways to help cushion those unwanted feelings, but sometimes they are unavoidable and felt in our organs of excretion. To be exact, through the bowel, bladder, lungs, skin, etcetera.

AM I AGITATED OR ENERGIZED?

Maybe you have noticed that burning, itching, etcetera release of inflammation often accompanied by chemical like odors. They are often followed up, or proceeded by agitated behavior. A behavior that passes as normal for many people today. A caffeinated feeling, energized in an unnatural hyper way.

In the not so long ago past, maybe 5 or more years ago, I would almost enjoy this feeling. Hey, I have energy to get things done! Problem was I was getting done. Burned out from the inside out. I was doing out of fear. the fear of not getting things accomplished and falling behind. This behavior tells me I am feeling the irritation of being the host of opportunistic bacteria like Candida and other Parasites in my body.

CAN’T GET OFF MY OWN CASE

There are different levels of OCD / Obsessive Compulsive Behavior. This is my personal experience with my own body, and from what I have observed in others, is pretty universal. It can go something like this: I  need to go to sleep, but feel compelled to finish something that is not at all necessary to my imminent well being. The task I need to stop doing  is going to get in the way of my going to bed earlier. It is going to get in the way of my doing something that would enhance my life and healing. I have mentioned this to other people and they tell me that this behavior, feeling compelled to do something / finish a project, is not abnormal. I know that normal these days is not often healthy, or a good idea. I take note of the response I get. I then don’t use their words as a justification for my not being able to stop and get some much needed rest. Unplug.

I admit, what I described above is not the most severe or stereotypical example of OCD behavior, but one that a reader might find they can relate to, maybe an eyeopener. What I said could cause a person to question their behavior. Is it really helpful? Even though everyone around us is engaged in it and way, way more extreme. How will I get ahead if I do not push? Time is ticking, etcetera. This is a  normalized amped up feeling that is so the norm today. Starbuck’s ain’t everywhere just because people like the taste of coffee.

DEADLINES

I do know we all often have unavoidable deadlines, etcetera. I am not specifically talking about those specific kinds of situations. However, if you thrive on pressure, or those creatures inside you do, this is the issue I am raising here. If that does not make sense to you, maybe down the line at some point it will. Living in a city like New York, where I am originally from, it is easy to not feel how amped up everyone is with, or without caffeine. I have to add that since living in Arizona and California I have come to realize that even the most rural communities (Patagonia, Az. as one example) have wound up citizens. Of course, people often move to these areas to decompress and that takes time. I am not sure moving is the solution for many. With  the exposure to toxins I mentioned above, I am certain it takes more than time for most people to heal up from an amped up Metropolitan Area life.

WE ALL NEED TO GIVE EACH OTHER A BREAK

In summary, I have learned to question my thoughts about people, cautious in judging their behavior, and to never take the anger of other people personally (not so easy) unless it is obviously in response to something I did, or said. Keep the peace without being a doormat by deciding what is important to address. We as human beings are subjected to so much we do not understand that impacts our health. In view of that, it is important to keep all this in mind when dealing with ourselves and others. This is a daily lesson for me that you might be able to relate to in your own life.

Over the past two years Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has helped me heal. In past blog posts I have written about other forms of healing help I have received.

notyourrawmama