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Over the past few years I have had several people recommend Cannabis/Medical Marijuana to me for relief of interrupted sleep/insomnia, low appetite/nausea and pain. I was hesitant in trying it because I had spent so much money on different products that were not very effective. My symptoms were, at times, very strong and I did not have much faith that they could be masked, nor was I sure it was such a good idea to mask them. Why? Well, pain is a warning and I am looking for long term solutions and not short term ones that could possibly cause more harm than good. So, as things have improved overall with less symptomatic peaks, I took action. Through research I was able to receive a prescription for Medical Marijuana through HelloMD. I began receiving deliveries from Highway1 Organics  who are located near me on the Central Coast of California. So far, my experience has been very good on all accounts, from HelloMD to receiving my delivery from Highway1 Organics, to the use of Medical Marijuana/ Cannabis for interrupted sleep, and inducing appetite. There is a salve that Highway1 Organics sells (Heaven’s Cure) that I find soothing for pain.

Because I am new to the use of MMJ, my experience is one of a novice. What I can share at this point is that I have needed very little Cannabis to help improve appetite, sleep more soundly, and alleviate some other symptoms that can make it hard for me to relax, especially after dark, and around the New and Full Moon. Also, with opening up joints and breaking up adhesions there will be an increased release of inflammation that can peak symptoms. Itching, aching, increased gut irregularity, feeling tired, mood shifts, bladder urgency. Basically all the exit points in the body are going to feel the pressure of the increased amount of toxins being disrupted and bursting at the seams to exit. Cannabis provides some buffering of discomfort for me while pursuing healing on a deeper level.


After asking her about the use of Cannabis, I  was instructed by my health advisor, Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD, to use a puff, or half a puff, before bed and meals. It took time to acclimate to the dose that I am using, but my consumption adds up to about a puff on a preroll three to five times a day. The most effective dose I use is consumed before bed, and once during the night for sleep. There are different strains of Cannabis and finding the one that is right for me has been made easier due to HelloMD, and the Highway1 Organics website and staff.


Just to be clear, Prescribed Cannabis can be purchased in many forms, a tincture being one. Using Cannabis in a Preroll (joint), that I purchase from Highway1 Organics, has taught me about my own prejudice and ignorance about Marijuana. I have come to realize the stigma of “Pot” from growing up in the 60’s and 70’s. How smoking something feels illicit. Taking medicine in  pill form is highly acceptable and what we are all use to. Drugs in pill form are not questioned because they are no muss no fuss and widely prescribed by doctors.

Through my first hand experience I am finding that there is a very effective healing use for the Cannabis plant. It can be ingested for healing without the side effects of Pharmaceuticals. This is a touchy statement for  many people. With all the Prescription Drug addiction to Opioids, Medical Marijuana is a choice to be seriously considered  for people as an adjunct in their healing regimen, both long and short term.

I plan to share more of my experience with Cannabis as it evolves.




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A few years ago, when I started to write these blog posts, I hoped that I would reach other people who I had things in common with, and I did. What I discovered was revealing and not always very flattering in terms of what we shared. In conversations of all kinds I found myself looking in a mirror, and I did not often like what was being reflected back to me. It was an eyeopener because of my willingness to acknowledge that what angers me about others is often something I need to look at in myself. Part of what connected me to some of the people I met were characteristics I did not like about myself, something I wanted to resolve, and not justify through our knowing each other. Fear is not an attractive characteristic and that was pretty much what we all shared.


So, fear is at the root of not feeling safe. It was hard for me to face that I  definitely did not feel safe most of my life. Feeling safe in the world was not my strongpoint. My life circumstances did not read like a person making decisions from a place of fear, but I knew better. A poorly functioning Gut and Weak Immune System did not make me feel  protected from the inside out. I can admit this while acknowledging the acts of violence and threats going on in the world. Also, despite living in New York City on 9/11/2001I, an incident that did change my feelings of personal safety, but my fear was more systemic than that. I was sure the basis of my fear, no matter what I had been through, was greatly determined by something deep. If I wanted to be healthy I had to look at my reaction to others fears. I needed to look at the underbelly. The things I did not find attractive about these other people, like me, who were also struggling with their Chronic Health issues.


The spectrum of opportunity stretches far on the internet, so through this blog I have met people from all over the world. Here in the USA, some lived on the coasts, some in the middle of the country. People from all over the world. I came to understand from listening to their gripes that the fear of something being taken from them caused feelings of fear and defensiveness. That fear greatly determined much of what was coming out of all our mouths. I came to understand how this thinking greatly influences all our decisions. It was clear to me that Poor health, Chronic Illness, Weak Immune Systems all contribute to this kind of “Fear of the Other” thinking. If a person feels that they can not defend themselves from within (Weak Internal Health Defense) the world outside themselves is a much more scary place.


People I met through this blog often had more Right Leaning political views on Politics, Race, and Immigration that I did not share. There was a pattern of characterizing people that seemed so different than themselves as a threat. My anger toward those who felt this way was screaming at me to take a good hard look at myself. To understand their fears and not judge them with the same fear that they were judging people who were different than themselves. I forced myself to look at what I had in common with the people who had the  unexamined fear of “The Other”. The kind of fear that diminishes health and, in my experience, develops from feeling defenseless and unable to fend off Opportunistic Bacteria, a Weak Immune System.


Here in the USA, and from what I see and hear around the world, the behavior that is prevailing in society and government is attack and defend. Sadly, the United States has become more of blatant divider politically  in words and actions. The money that goes to building an even stronger military is defended and rationalized by people every day. Keeping people feeling unsafe is a strategy for the ever increasing Military Budget. I deeply feel that this way of thinking is greatly impacted by their own poor health and Weak Inner Defense Systems. This may sound simplistic, but I strongly stand by it.


From my experience with myself and others I have come to the realization that even pain staking healing of Chronic Illness does not always mean  an awareness and ability to change fearful thinking and behavior. Emotional wounding runs deep and needs to be handled in therapeutic ways that are healing and build understanding. Ways that do not only threaten the tribal alliances people have, their relationships, their work and finances. Most people, here in the USA, do not own a Passport and therefore, depending on where they live, do not often interact with people from other cultures. Meeting new Immigrants from unfamiliar places changes that.


My observation is that healing on a physical / biological level does not magically wipe away the historical patterns of perception that are deeply imbedded in our collective psyches. The images of enslaved Black and Brown people shackled, barefoot, in ragged clothing, whipped and hung from trees, the degrading use of the N word are imbedded in our collective psyches. Just from the political climate around the world I am sure that most white people do NOT understand the shameful scar Slavery has left on us all. I hope more of us are learning, I know I am.


Deep change may have to entail leaving behind people who are not wiling to grow and change. How we handle all this determines our health and personal growth. Tough decisions are made by action and inaction. Judging others takes on a whole new meaning when we face these situations head on. When we all face ourselves.

I have found help from Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD. Check out her website. She may not be for you, but she provides well researched information on her radio shows and in her other communications.




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I am a person detoxing from Mercury, Mold and other Heavy Metal and Chemical contaminants. These are substances we are all unwillingly exposed to in our air, water and soil. As these contaminants leave my body I feel the burn, itch, aches and pains. There are ways to help cushion those unwanted feelings, but sometimes they are unavoidable and felt in our organs of excretion. To be exact, through the bowel, bladder, lungs, skin, etcetera.


Maybe you have noticed that burning, itching, etcetera release of inflammation often accompanied by chemical like odors. They are often followed up, or proceeded by agitated behavior. A behavior that passes as normal for many people today. A caffeinated feeling, energized in an unnatural hyper way.

In the not so long ago past, maybe 5 or more years ago, I would almost enjoy this feeling. Hey, I have energy to get things done! Problem was I was getting done. Burned out from the inside out. I was doing out of fear. the fear of not getting things accomplished and falling behind. This behavior tells me I am feeling the irritation of being the host of opportunistic bacteria like Candida and other Parasites in my body.


There are different levels of OCD / Obsessive Compulsive Behavior. This is my personal experience with my own body, and from what I have observed in others, is pretty universal. It can go something like this: I  need to go to sleep, but feel compelled to finish something that is not at all necessary to my imminent well being. The task I need to stop doing  is going to get in the way of my going to bed earlier. It is going to get in the way of my doing something that would enhance my life and healing. I have mentioned this to other people and they tell me that this behavior, feeling compelled to do something / finish a project, is not abnormal. I know that normal these days is not often healthy, or a good idea. I take note of the response I get. I then don’t use their words as a justification for my not being able to stop and get some much needed rest. Unplug.

I admit, what I described above is not the most severe or stereotypical example of OCD behavior, but one that a reader might find they can relate to, maybe an eyeopener. What I said could cause a person to question their behavior. Is it really helpful? Even though everyone around us is engaged in it and way, way more extreme. How will I get ahead if I do not push? Time is ticking, etcetera. This is a  normalized amped up feeling that is so the norm today. Starbuck’s ain’t everywhere just because people like the taste of coffee.


I do know we all often have unavoidable deadlines, etcetera. I am not specifically talking about those specific kinds of situations. However, if you thrive on pressure, or those creatures inside you do, this is the issue I am raising here. If that does not make sense to you, maybe down the line at some point it will. Living in a city like New York, where I am originally from, it is easy to not feel how amped up everyone is with, or without caffeine. I have to add that since living in Arizona and California I have come to realize that even the most rural communities (Patagonia, Az. as one example) have wound up citizens. Of course, people often move to these areas to decompress and that takes time. I am not sure moving is the solution for many. With  the exposure to toxins I mentioned above, I am certain it takes more than time for most people to heal up from an amped up Metropolitan Area life.


In summary, I have learned to question my thoughts about people, cautious in judging their behavior, and to never take the anger of other people personally (not so easy) unless it is obviously in response to something I did, or said. Keep the peace without being a doormat by deciding what is important to address. We as human beings are subjected to so much we do not understand that impacts our health. In view of that, it is important to keep all this in mind when dealing with ourselves and others. This is a daily lesson for me that you might be able to relate to in your own life.

Over the past two years Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has helped me heal. In past blog posts I have written about other forms of healing help I have received.



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I did not know what to entitle this post, a post about a subject that does not get a great deal of coverage. What has made it more difficult is that it is very difficult, if not impossible, to describe, or sum up, my experience in a sound bite. Healing for me has not been easy and definitely not a quick fix. I sure wish it had been. Right now the title is Hernia:Abscess Fistula Crisis. Not very catchy. Okay, so here I go…


Within the past year I have wanted to write another post about my Hernia / Abscess bursting, and the spread of inflammation that resulted. In that first  post I said that I would soon be writing in more detail, but I was simply not able to. I did not have the energy and mental clarity. I have truly needed all of my energy to heal, and do some daily tasks. Because I did not go to a hospital I came to the realization that people found it hard to understand the serious nature of what I had been through. Thinking back and putting my set of circumstances in context with the society I live in, I now understand that response from others. It has helped me see my experience through their eyes. This insight has made healing from a Chronic Illness a life lesson. That may sound a bit cliche, but fortunately for me it is true. Why do I say that? Because I am not a victim of my circumstances due to what I have learned, and that perspective has only empowered me. Still, it has not been easy.


Through my health crisis (aka being sick) I have come to recognize that I have to be there for myself. It is unfair to depend on others to be a support in a way that I am not sure anyone can. What I have come to fully understand is that each individual person is in charge of their own thoughts and actions. Believing in my ability to heal is up to me. Saying it and feeling it are two very different things. Accepting this responsibility had to happen in order to get well. This acceptance tells me that healing is happening on a deeper level. I had to give up needing the understanding and approval of others to be at peace with my decisions. The only approval necessary, in order to heal, is my own. This is something I have to remind myself of often.

Recognizing the support I do have has helped me heal. Fortunately, I often express gratitude to the two people who have been there for me, my husband and Jennifer Daniels, MD. That recognition of others sounds like a no brainer, but part of not feeling well can be focusing on what I do not have. When I feel pain, it takes an extra effort to feel positive, and grateful. I wish it came easier.


For about 15 to 20 years I had a small lump in my right groin. I was told it was an Inguinal Hernia. A good part of that time the lump did not hurt, and it was hardly visible. Instinctively, I feel it has been there since I was in my late 20’s early 30’s. I deducted that the lump was a build up of bacteria, parasites, etcetera due to long term constipation. My hypothesis was that the accumulation of acidic waste weakened the membranes of my body and set me up for a “hernia”. A long history of constipation, in my experience, usually means a sluggish Liver/Gallbladder, and Cecum. All located on the right side of the body. This sluggishness is often reflected in the Transverse and Sigmoid Colon. So, my Hernia/ Abscess situation had been building for a very long time.


A lack of movement in the Ascending Colon is evidence that the Liver/Gallbladder are sluggish. The Liver is partially located under the right ribcage. Liver/Gallbladder sluggishness makes it harder for waste matter to move up from the Cecum, located close the right groin. Among other factors, movement of waste matter is challenged by the Law of Gravity, a formidable opponent. In Chinese Medical Theory the Liver is an organ of expansion and upward movement. If the Liver is overwhelmed by a deluge of toxins, etcetera it will be reflected, at some point, by a sluggish response of all bodily functions. Chronic Bowel problems will be one major indicator that something is not quite right, and that includes Constipation and Irritable Bowel symptoms.

I do plan to write more about my Hernia/Abscess experience. I can say that it was very traumatic and messy. Blood, infectious material, and more. All I experienced has made it clear to me why Western Medicine employs surgery. Then the use of antibiotics and pain killers to deal with infection/inflammation spreading. This is not the road that I chose to take, but after my experience I can understand why it is taken by so many people. Surgeries usually entail a life long relationship with  doctors, medications and other surgeries. This is not the protocol that I felt would be good for me, so my choice has been a road less taken.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD was / is the healing force, along with my willfulness and my husband’s support, that got me through the healing of my Abscess, the containing of Inflammation, the painful aftermath, the road to healing.


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Where does all the toxic waste come from that people directly confront when healing holistically from a chronic illness? How does so much necrotic material get stored in the human body? To release it can be painful (acidic), and needs the help of solvents, water for hydration and specific elements to absorb residue and move it out. Intestinal Drawing Formula by Health Force is one example. Herbs, spices, charcoal (a component in the Intestinal Drawing Formula), vegetables and other forms of fiber are needed along with enemas and, in some cases, colonics. The amount of waste that can be dislodged is confusing for people, I strongly include myself here, and it can be very hard to understand where all this toxic matter is stored in the body. For people who have eaten a diet that is way above SAD (Standard American Diet), done fasting, colon cleanses. juicing, colonics, enemas, cleansing diets, the whole shebang, the amount of toxins that are resurrected can be highly confusing, disheartening, and disillusioning.


I was born in the later half of the 1950’s. During my childhood I have no memory of there being any focus on drinking water at home, or at school. My mother did not have soda in the house, except for occasional ginger ale and tonic water. At school there was no water served at lunch, but there were a number of water fountains in the school. Beverages served in the cafeteria were plain and chocolate milk. In grammar school I was active as a competitive runner as well as a ballet student. Looking back it does seem strange that there was no memorable guidance, in my experience, to drink water for kids in general and especially for those involved in sports, or dance.


As a child, I can remember restricting drinking liquids at track meets due to limited access to public toilets. It was the same as a dancer. I was part of a dance company during my teens that performed in Central Park and other outdoor venues. Bathroom access was not nearby, or at all convenient. The solution was to drink minimally. Soda was the beverage that was sold at the track meets.


In terms of role models, my ballet teachers often drank coffee and smoked cigarettes during ballet class and rehearsals. That may be hard for people to fathom these days, but it is true. There were water fountains in most dance studios. Bottled water was not quite in vogue at the time. I did start seeing a nutritionist in my very late teens and at that time I do remember water being a part of the program. The focus of the nutrition movement back then was on supplements, high protein diets, and the elimination of refined carbohydrates. Low blood sugar was the buzz term. Eating animal protein with mega vitamin therapy was the popular approach. Remember the Atkins Diet?


When I reflect on the years of not having proper hydration while involved in activities that involved great physical demands, the ramifications are daunting. I also have no memory of regular bowel movements as a kid. That impact was confirmed by feelings of been bloated in my early teens. I can remember constipation as a young teen. The impact of improper hydration can not be totally resolved by water alone. Solvents are needed to break down what has accumulated in the body due to dehydration. Click here for one solvent that I have found extremely useful. 

Toxic waste accumulates in the body due to not enough water daily, refined foods daily, childhood medications, inoculations, pesticides on fruits and vegetables, breathing polluted air, eating farm factory meats, and exposure to so much more that we do not knowingly consume. Without proper hydration these toxic elements remain. These toxins become part of the building blocks to our cells, blood, organs, etcetera. If there is not enough water being ingested an internal bomb is being built, and at some point begins ticking.


There are so many other details that I could add here, but the point that I am wanting to make is that most people are not properly hydrated from the very beginning of their lives. Physically active or sendentary behaviors are dehydrating. Computers, and electronics of all kinds are dehydrating. Dehydration is a major cause of constipation. Waste is not coming out means that toxins that need to be eliminated are being stored all over the body. It is important for me to mention the toxic elements in the air and soil that were unregulated at the time I was growing up. This is, very sadly, still a problem. Exposure to chemicals and pesticides is a daily occurrence today, as well as in the past. At the least, enough fluids are needed to make an attempt to wash them out.


Understanding my decades of not being properly hydrated is information that I have had to process slowly. The reality of it is hard to measure. In going through my healing process with Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD, I have had to confront the deeply potent residue of toxic matter that has been stored in my body. A painful, but needed facing of facts. Facts that I thought I understood, but obviously did not. The magnitude of this collection of toxins is far more powerful than I ever realized.







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When I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and less able to focus and complete tasks, I become  anxious. Over the years I have come to learn that it is not the circumstances outside of me that are the real problem, but how I interpret them. I am talking about everyday stresses that should not put one on medications. My interpretation, from life long experience with myself and others, depends on the condition of my Immune System and my ability to keep the ecosystem of my body in balance. When healing from a Chronic Illness, hitting this balance can be very hard. It is truly a balancing act of cleaning out, rebuilding and finding some stability to function daily while participating in this healing process.


A few years ago I was part of an online course designed and presented by The Tapping Solution / Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping). I noticed that feeling overwhelmed was an ongoing theme among the participants. One person that I specifically remember stated that she found Tapping [EFT] very helpful to alleviate her anxiety, but she still woke up feeling overwhelmed everyday. Anxiety was her daily alarm clock. She was grateful for the relief tapping brought her, but she was hoping for a more long term resolution, and Tapping had become more of a band-aid. Even though EFT is not my deep cure for overwhelm, I do experience EFT (Tapping) as helpful, and I will probably always use it for a myriad of different reasons.

Regular, daily feelings of overwhelm that appear without a trigger are signs of a greater biological stress. In a 10 week webinar with Oprah Winfrey, Eckart Tolle said that without pharmaceuticals the population of this earth would be more out of control than it already is. A scary thought. since there is so much discord today. Drugs and Pharmaceuticals are the next step, even for people who do not want to go down that road. Why? There are a few larger scope reason, but on a personal situation level,  it is what an individual may need to do in order to be functional, earn a living, not hurt themselves, or others. It is important to note that even with medications prevention of bad outcomes is not guaranteed.


Obsessive attention to detail is becoming more and more common in our society. That behavior causes feelings of overwhelm for people on a daily basis. It is one trait that has deep, biological roots. One definition of a Weak Immune System is a person with an internal terrain that has an overload of Bacteria, Candida, Parasites, etcetera. A Weak Immune System is when these life forms have the upper hand and take over. When Parasites overrun us, instead of passing out in due time, they create symptoms that can exhibit themselves in behaviors that are often irksome to ourselves, and  others. In this state of imbalance, we are not at peace with ourselves, or those around us. Our annoyances and fears run us. Meds are, on paper, the quick fix.


At some point Micromanaging ourselves, our environment, and others leads to feelings of overwhelm. These controlling traits often pass as normal. It is not so hard to surround ourselves with people who are more overwhelmed than we are. Surrounded by people who are more out of control than we are, or think we are,  it is easy to not realize or confront our own feelings of overwhelm.


I had a client in NYC who possessed ample financial wealth and comfort. They randomly fired their home / work staff. No one was ever good enough. I, without a doubt, noticed that their personality would change from during the day to the evening. Confrontational and agitated behavior peaked at different times. The critical and difficult aspects of this person waxed and waned with the sun, moon and extreme temperatures, also known as exogenous factors.


Over the years I have learned that when I feel overwhelmed by life my Immune System needs to be checked. Aside from making adjustments in my outer world it is necessary to adjust my biological ecosystem. The toxins that are dying off are  accumulating and not exiting fast enough. Steps need to be taken. Not a take two and call me in the morning solution,, but at least I know what to do, and it works.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has helped me. Her website is worth looking into, whether you work with her or not.






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I know someone in their mid 70’a who has, over the years, become reclusive. He does not return most phone calls, no longer uses email, and does not reach out to people, except a necessary few. Others, who also know this person, have gone from feeling somewhat perplexed and rejected to surrendering acceptance. Well, most of the time anyway. I am not surprised at his behavior, and am sure that years of joint inflammation after a recovery from a pretty serious vascular illness, more than 10 years ago, has taken a huge toll. Still, none of these other people seem to fully understand why he has disappeared. Some, I can tell, still feel hurt and rejected. I am not a sage, but I am certain that the level of inflammation this man experiences is very high and is greatly due to his vascular illness many years ago. There is severe damage and inflammation to his entire body and that includes his brain. Hibernating is often an act of self preservation.


I have been on a quest to heal my gut for decades. I knew that any pain I was having with my hips had to be addressed through rectifying my digestive/gatrointestinal woes. That I am not alone is validated everyday by the strong presence of Pharmaceutical Company advertisements. Drugs such as Humira are advertised and prescribed for joint pain, gut inflammation, and skin problems. Medications / Drugs are not the route I have chosen to take because I know this is not a long term plan. There are serious consequences that are listed in the commercials as they show people doing all the things they have immense pain doing while crippled with inflammation, miserable with irritable bowels, or embarrassed by eczema, psoriasis and other skin conditions. One thing I am sure of is that the people who create the commercials for Humira (and drugs of all kinds ) know the mindset of pain very, very well.

My personal experience with pain has changed my understanding of other people, and their behavior. My empathy for others has increased immensely. I dd not understand the word inflammation until I personally had joint pain. Toxic, sluggish gut was more what I was feeling. Uncomfortable, annoyed and frustrated by an unhealthy gut eventually turned into joint pain. What was an injury that would not heal for many reasons, turned into chronic pain. This cataloging of the sequence of my own inflammation, both gut and joint, has been a circuitous root that has moved to some solid conclusions. Without these experiences I would have only understood inflammation and pain in theory.


I am experiencing a deep recovery from inflammation. It is not an simple sequence of personal events to write about. Much of what comes out of me through my bowel is pretty gross in nature. Sometimes it is hard to put into words, recollect and catalogue. The reason for some of this difficulty is due to the myriad of contaminants I have been exposed to over these many years, choices I have made, choices that were made for me. The voracity of the quality of dehydrated residue of contaminants that has been stored in tissues, organs, etcetera all over my body. The list of these substances are beyond my memory, or understanding. I am coming to the conclusion, that in the end, that most of the details are not that important. Finding a way to heal while being more functional as I live through this process is one of my main focuses.


Getting back to the person I wrote about in the beginning, I understand his unspoken need to disassociate from people. I have had to do this to some extent. I have needed every bit of energy to heal. That need is something I would not have understood if it were not for my own situation. It takes a great deal of energy to explain to people what is going on with me physically and emotionally. Many people, in trying to help, challenge my decisions, or add their opinion as to what they think I should do. It can be exhausting. It is hard for most people to understand that discomfort may be part of healing. The Western Medical paradigm is based, in theory, of doing no harm. It is documented that this is often not the outcome. I am not saying that is the intention. Treating pain in Western Medicine usually means masking it. This is a major problem today in the USA with opiate addiction, and death from opiate overdose being so prevalent. These rampant addictions speak strongly about the level of inflammation people are suffering from and their need to find relief. Empathy is not the answer, but it is a good start. I truly feel empathy for these people.

Dr. Jennifer Daniels, MD has her own unique approach to healing. I have written a good number of posts explaining my experience with her. Here is a link to her website.